I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
