I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize