he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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