I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
