I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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