I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
