He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you mean i was at the winter classic?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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