Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
