Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
