dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
how drunk are you?
Several
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
