i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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