he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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