my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
