Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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