I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize