I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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