I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
