You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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