There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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