and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize