Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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