Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you made out with another girl for some wings
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
