I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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