Hey man sorry I got all grabby
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need a beard to bite.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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