its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
