I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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