Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
