yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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