there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
