Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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