yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
