Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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