Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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