i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
