I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
