why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
