Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize