Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize