Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just high enough for therapy.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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