sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
