did you get engaged???
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
