Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
