dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize