my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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