I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize