He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
