oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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