we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
