There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
