I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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