You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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