I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
