they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
