it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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