I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
