party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
