isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
