I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
