Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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