This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
third nipple confirmed
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
