Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
