I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
