Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
