she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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