sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
