I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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