So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
