it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
