it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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