This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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