windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
