Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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