My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
In America we eat man semen.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
