it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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