smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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