suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
