your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
