Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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