I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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