I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
