I wish I could teleport
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
