Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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