Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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