Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
