It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Pooping to opera.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
